@FRYINQPAN
hi! i'm becs, also known as fryinqpan. i have been roleplaying in some capacity since 2008. the first 12 years of my roleplay was text-based on tumblr, skype and chatroom clients. in 2021, i moved to voice-based roleplay in the form of fivem (gtarp) and have been doing that ever since - most recently moving over to redm.i still get the desire for the text-based elements of rp, and so this directory & character biographies were born. this is just a space for me to write about my characters, their lives and their dreams between my time acting them out.
EFFIE BEAUFORT
CIRCA 2025; RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2 RP (REDM)
ACTIVITY main character
ALIGNMENT lawful neutral
FOCUS AREA lawwoman; western sheriffs office, deputy




LEGAL NAME Celeste Thi Búi.
✦ monikers & title(s). Ms. (title), cel (to nyx), wifey (to harmony mgmt), tippy taps (to accomplices).AGE Twenty-four.
✦ date of birth June 27ᵀᴴ, 2001.
✦ birth chart Cancer ☼, Libra ☾, Virgo ↥
✦ birthplace california, usaGENDER. female, she/they.
sexuality. whatever.APPEARENCE. ✧
✦ eyes. dark brown.
✦ hair. black.
✦ build. 5ft 4, skinny.
✦ modifications. FULL BODY TATTOO'D in VARIOUS STYLES . SEPTUM, LABRET, EYEBROWS AND MULTIPLE EAR PIERCINGS.
" and your limit will only be your mind,"
001 : ALLUSIVE/PULSE ARC. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Proin at eros mauris. Duis pulvinar semper maximus. Pellentesque maximus eget tortor vel finibus. Nullam fermentum faucibus massa, eget sodales massa. Curabitur varius risus ac nisl eleifend malesuada. Aliquam pharetra nisi sed nisi sodales, eu suscipit justo malesuada. Mauris ac facilisis enim, ac hendrerit eros. Nunc sodales gravida ultricies. Cras pretium bibendum velit, in molestie lacus dictum sed.
Cras accumsan bibendum ipsum vel ultrices. Proin venenatis vel ligula non sagittis. Maecenas auctor dictum nulla, in laoreet justo pretium ac. Nam porta, libero eget dignissim imperdiet, enim sapien dignissim nunc, tincidunt euismod odio magna quis eros. Fusce euismod lorem suscipit nisl semper malesuada. Quisque porta maximus magna eget cursus. Etiam bibendum convallis orci et efficitur. Nunc feugiat tortor nec dolor consectetur, quis mollis massa cursus. Ut auctor at leo ac egestas. Donec consequat hendrerit nunc dignissim tempor. Curabitur finibus tincidunt ligula, vel iaculis leo feugiat vel. Cras iaculis libero nec risus volutpat, fringilla auctor nulla ornare. Nunc et tellus neque.

" the cosmic laws will bend around you,"
001 : IMMENSE ARC. Integer nec lectus porttitor, interdum turpis et, finibus sapien. Fusce tincidunt ac arcu non ullamcorper. Sed vel lorem maximus, commodo sapien id, euismod lacus. Sed rhoncus aliquet tortor pharetra euismod. Duis egestas venenatis neque id placerat. Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in faucibus orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia curae; Vivamus volutpat libero ac lorem luctus, eget rhoncus quam congue. Quisque at neque sed velit blandit convallis. Cras eu tincidunt tortor. Mauris at enim tincidunt orci tempor elementum. Donec volutpat lectus vel dui ullamcorper, vitae laoreet nunc convallis. Praesent quis erat vitae nisi luctus tincidunt non ut turpis.
Praesent imperdiet maximus ante nec sollicitudin. Nulla ac massa turpis. Mauris hendrerit pulvinar nisi, sit amet aliquam augue maximus nec. Sed nec elementum sem, eget consectetur lorem. Proin et ipsum semper, aliquet purus sed, auctor tortor. Praesent facilisis tincidunt cursus. Nam quis euismod mi. Fusce a gravida sapien. Pellentesque nec nulla sit amet ipsum mollis cursus. Etiam auctor, diam vel accumsan porta, eros enim sodales massa, a ornare massa nulla ut ligula. Phasellus quis blandit dui. Cras id ante luctus, ullamcorper sapien ut, sagittis urna. Sed et aliquam libero, eget dignissim ipsum.

" enforcing them will be your task."
© L.H.Z, How To Be Immortal




LEGAL NAME MADELYN KAYLEE ARKWRIGHT.
✦ monikers & title(s). Chief & Dr. (titles), maddie & mads (universally); favourite (to Sammy), CUNT (TO DONOVAN).AGE Twenty-five.
✦ date of birth february 17ᵀᴴ, 2000.
✦ birth chart Aquarius ☼, Leo ☾, Virgo ↥
✦ birthplace Northern EnglandGENDER. female, she/they.
sexuality. bisexual.APPEARENCE. ✧
✦ eyes. light grey-blue.
✦ hair. ginger, dyed white/silver.
✦ build. 5ft 7, average.
✦ modifications. sleeve tattoo on left arm , bird feather on right hip (family tattoo). septum & multiple ear piercings.
" Death only happens to the living,"
001 : ECLIPSED. Fresh in a new city, living paycheck to paycheck out of a dingy apartment, Maddie and Lily made their footing with a few friends, including Alex, Tobias, James, and Ricky. The group quickly formed an alliance with each other, which didn't go unnoticed by other city residents.
The group found a home in Chumash and named themselves Eclipse. By day, they would travel to the Cassidy Trail, throwing themselves into their legal job of hunting and fishing to supply local markets. By night, they went unnoticed, breaking into stores, stealing electronics, venturing out to the Catfish Islands to process and sell ecstasy and MDMA, and breaking into bank vaults. Despite the numerous pursuits, they would always get away, going unknown and unregistered to the police department.
Throughout this change in her lifestyle, Maddie noticed Lily growing distant. The couple, who were usually attached at the hip, supporting and going through the same chapter of their lives together, now had a tense atmosphere when they were in a room together. Lily would return later and later into the night with each passing week, sneaking into their bed, until eventually she wouldn't return home at all. Lily's phone became off limits, and conversations about wedding plans became taboo and often pushed off for "later."
During a hunting trip with Lily and Tobias, against her better judgement, Maddie read a note found tucked between the backseats of their truck. A love note. And like that, everything clicked into place. Maddie continued as normal, not wanting to believe what she'd read, until Lily left her. She spiralled into a destructive cycle. She made everyone they mutually knew aware of what she had done, and she lost any care she had for her own wellbeing and safety. The life of crime she had initially gotten into because of Lily came to an abrupt stop when she made the decision to leave the "friends" she had behind and move to a new city to have the fresh start she wanted in the first place.


" even the quietest corners pale away."
002 : THE SMOKE SETTLES. With a fresh start and no prior record, Maddie found herself a place to call home in Mirror Park, with her brother, Donovan, living just around the corner, having just rekindled a friendship with him after he moved out at 18 to escape their parents' religious standards. Maddie applied to join the city's emergency medical response team and was quickly brought in for an interview under Ashley Cooper and Odin Niveus. She underwent training to get her EMR and fire response certification and, in the process, made two work friends, Faith Martinez and Angeliela Dragon, whom she could confide in while still getting her bearings in a new environment. For a while, everything felt like it was on the right track.
A few weeks into her ventures as an EMR, a familiar voice came to Pillbox for medical care after an accident on the Cassidy Trail. Lily was living with Tobias, and the two had moved to a new city for the same reason as Maddie. There was an immediate clash between the two, followed by months of much-needed communication and heartache, resulting in closure for both of them, and over time, a friendship was rekindled. Maddie invested in Pearls Restaurant & Bar, becoming the proud owner of the business, and worked alongside Lily, Donovan, Tobias, and some friends they made along the way.
Her brother Donovan, along with Lily and Tobias, joined the Los Santos Fire Department under new management, with Angeliela (Angel) as chief and Faith as second in command. Tensions flared: Faith quit after Isabella Rose’s short-lived promotion, her removal following a hostage situation with a civilian over a twitter argument. Angel's partner was finally bought in as second in command, Samuel Janeck. During this time, Maddie became friends with an officer named Josh Daggler. Feelings blossomed, and a short-lived relationship came and went. Exhausted from the strain on her personal life, and lack of communication towards the end of her relationship with Daggler, Maddie sunk herself into her work, building herself up from a lieutenant in the medical battalion up to a commander.

Her coworkers became like family. Donovan’s “Father, I crave violence” joke caught on throughout the department. After their wedding, Donovan and Maddie were adopted by The Dragons, cementing their sense of belonging. Lily was adopted into the family too, along with Tree Forest, who was shot and presumed dead during a shootout with police a few months later. Tensions within the family grew since the assumed loss of Tree. Angel and Sammy drifted apart, with Sammy making the decision to step down from Assistant Chief, handing his badge down to Maddie. Just over a month into her new position, her mother made the decision to step down too, moving out of the city to help handle her uncle's alcoholism. Maddie was the only person informed she would be moving, leaving her dad, brother, and sister in the dark, with Maddie breaking the news to each of them. Sammy ended up filing for divorce and grew closer to his kids than ever. With the confidence of her dad behind her, Maddie pushed forward as the newly appointed Chief of San Andreas Fire and Rescue, running the department alongside her siblings in high command, finally content and flourishing in life.

" We ritualize death by living,"
003 : FLAT LINE. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Suspendisse facilisis ut eros vel tempor. Aenean ut leo lorem. Quisque luctus urna et nibh consectetur elementum. Vestibulum lorem odio, placerat vel odio quis, convallis tristique quam. Nam vulputate dolor vel tincidunt tincidunt. Aliquam viverra elementum nibh nec venenatis. Suspendisse vestibulum lectus quis ante sodales placerat. Nulla sed nisl at eros luctus pellentesque eu a ex.
Quisque at vestibulum tellus. Sed eget libero vel nibh dapibus ultrices. Etiam id vestibulum lectus, non dictum mauris. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Curabitur sit amet mattis tellus. Mauris tempor, mi vel aliquam varius, massa massa posuere enim, id dictum leo justo vitae odio. Phasellus aliquam dolor ut turpis molestie, quis varius elit aliquet. Pellentesque eget pharetra ex. Duis a vestibulum mauris. Praesent ac imperdiet mi.
" we are always building our quiet."
© Lisa Marie Basile, I Put The Coffin Out To Sea




LEGAL NAME ARABELLA ENID OAKLEY
✦ monikers & title(s). Ms. (titles). bella (universal), onomatopoeia (f. yhu)AGE Twenty-three.
✦ date of birth April 1, 2002.
✦ birth chart Aries ☼, Sag ☾, Cancer ↥
✦ birthplace LOS ANGLES, CALIFORNIA.GENDER. female, she/her.
sexuality. heterosexual.APPEARENCE. ✧
✦ eyes. blue.
✦ hair. blonde.
✦ build. 5ft 4', skinny legend.
✦ modifications. diamond tattoo on left elbow, various faded scars from gunshot injuries.




LEGAL NAME Elouise Maeve Gray
✦ monikers & title(s). Secretary & Mrs. (titles), EL (universal).AGE Twenty-seven.
✦ date of birth April 20ᵀᴴ, 1998.
✦ birth chart Taurus ☼, Aqu ☾, Leo ↥
✦ birthplace LONDON, England.GENDER. female, she/her.
sexuality. bisexual.APPEARENCE. ✧
✦ eyes. hazel.
✦ hair. dark brown.
✦ build. 5ft 7, average.
✦ modifications. heavily tattoo'd on both arms, legs and torso. left nostril pierced & multiple ear piercings.




LEGAL NAME EFFIE LOUISE BEAUFORT.
✦ monikers & title(s). Deputy & Ms. (titles).AGE Twenty-three.
✦ date of birth January 11ᵀᴴ, 1889.
✦ birth chart Capricorn ☼, Tau ☾, Tau ↥
✦ birthplace LONDON, England.GENDER. female, she/her.
sexuality. heterosexual.APPEARENCE. ✧
✦ eyes. green.
✦ hair. light blonde.
✦ build. 5ft, slim.
✦ modifications. missing upper knuckle of right ringer finger. various light/small scars from gunfights & animal attacks, none particularly distinct.

" & I PRAY YOU DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH ME,"
001 : BACKSTORY. Effie was born in 1889 in South England. The daughter of a stern but principled headmaster and a kind-hearted dressmaker, she was raised with a strong sense of duty and fairness. Her family was neither wealthy nor destitute, but the loss of her older brother Thomas, who drowned at sea in 1891 ruined them. Her mother retreated into grief, and her father spent longer nights at the local pub. Effie, meanwhile, developed a fear of wasted potential; she didn't want to watch life slip away without meaning, as she felt it did for her brother. She attended a girls' academy in the heart of the City of London, where she excelled at reading, writing and debate. Effie had a keen moral sense, a love for reasoning and evidence, and a knack for noticing inconsistencies which others overlooked, but in Edwardian England, opportunities for women were limited outside of domestic service. Effie worked for a solicitor's office as a clerk and typist - mundane but secure work, but she was restless. She yearned for more; adventure, purpose, a chance to be part of something larger.
" FOR I AM FALSER THAN VOWS MADE IN WINE."
002 : BEYOND THE FRONTIER, HOPE. An old American pen pal-turned-best friend from her school years, Sutton Reid, wrote of booming towns, frontier justice, and new opportunities for women in the West. Effie decided to risk everything - it was now or never. In 1912, at the age of twenty-three, she sailed to Annesberg and travelled inland by train to Valentine, where she reunited with Sutton and his friend Harold. The trio ventured further west to Strawberry and were immediately confronted with the harsh realities of life in the 'Wild' West. Crime wasn’t always visible, but it ran deep; robbery, kidnapping, and lawlessness lurked just beneath the surface. The Western Sheriff's Office had a presence in town, but their numbers were notably lacking. Realizing the need for more structure, and the opportunity of a lifetime for Effie, the three moved further south to Blackwater, where they planted roots and formally registered their interest in joining the department.
the journal of
Effie Beaufort
the most recent entry:
Dear Diary, 5 September 1912
It feels strange to write again. The days have swallowed me whole. Patrols, reports, disputes and God knows what else meant by the time I had time to sit still, I had no words left to put down. Some time early last month I'd gone from Deputy to Senior, and today from Senior to Corporal. While lining up for a bank pursuit, McCoy came up behind me and Sutton and congratulated me on my promotion to supervisor. We thought he was joking, it wasn't until nearly an hour later when things had settled he confirmed it was real.
Aside from that life is much the same, just an extra weight on my shoulders than when I first started writing in these pages again. I help train the assistant deputies now. I see myself in some of them - the same questions, the same doubt. I try to give them the same confidence Rictor and Stone gave me, but it's hard some days. Folk expect us to be made of irons, but some nights I still lie awake with my heart racing, the sound of a gun ringing in my ears.
The badge is just as heavy, but my back has learned to bear it. I think that's what time does - it teaches you to carry your burdens without breaking. I'm hoping to keep this journal closer again. If my work is to shape me, I want to leave a record behind as something more than just the reports filed neatly in drawers. More than anything, I just hope this keeps me sane.
Write soon.
EB xo
all journal entries:
15 September 1912
AGE: 23
Dear Diary,
- D2
5 September 1912
AGE: 23
Dear Diary,
It feels strange to write again. The days have swallowed me whole. Patrols, reports, disputes and God knows what else meant by the time I had time to sit still, I had no words left to put down. Some time early last month I'd gone from Deputy to Senior, and today from Senior to Corporal. While lining up for a bank pursuit, McCoy came up behind me and Sutton and congratulated me on my promotion to supervisor. We thought he was joking, it wasn't until nearly an hour later when things had settled he confirmed it was real.
Aside from that life is much the same, just an extra weight on my shoulders than when I first started writing in these pages again. I help train the assistant deputies now. I see myself in some of them - the same questions, the same doubt. I try to give them the same confidence Rictor and Stone gave me, but it's hard some days. Folk expect us to be made of irons, but some nights I still lie awake with my heart racing, the sound of a gun ringing in my ears.
The badge is just as heavy, but my back has learned to bear it. I think that's what time does - it teaches you to carry your burdens without breaking. I'm hoping to keep this journal closer again. If my work is to shape me, I want to leave a record behind as something more than just the reports filed neatly in drawers. More than anything, I just hope this keeps me sane.
Write soon.
25 June 1912
AGE: 23
Dear Diary,
The badge felt different this morning. Same tin and shine as always, but different. We took a call, a store robbery, and once folks were sent off to Sisika the promotion came: Assistant Deputy no more, just plain old Deputy Beaufort. No brass band or speeches, just a nod and 'you've got what you need, you're good.' That was it, and that suits me just fine.
It doesn't feel like a leap as much as just a step over the line I've been walking along for weeks. Same office, same horse, same team, same routes - the only difference is nobody looking over my shoulder to confirm I know ass from tit. Definitely feels like I have steadier footing in place.
I'm keeping at it. I hope Mum, Dad and Thomas are proud.
16 June 1912
AGE: 23
Dear Diary,
A man died today. No careful phrasing will soften that. It wasn't just me who raised my gun and fired. He had 50 gunshot wounds. He was likely dead before his body even hit the ground. And yet the world will go on turning with that fact inside it.
It happened on main street. Myself and Ricter had come across the man earlier. He was being taken out of town after too many women complained of his creepy behaviour. Hands empty, voice full of filth. His lingering demeanour, his breathing down their necks. His behaviour was directed towards me, too. We told him not to come back.
But he did. He stood at the corner of the Sheriff's Office where deputies were talking, calling our Sergeant and his girlfriend 'snitches' before firing a bullet into both of them. It happened so fast from there. I remember hearing the shot, then bodies hitting the floor. There was at least six of us, guns in hand, unloading into him as he ran away. He fired a couple of shots back but had no chance. The doctors were in town, thankfully. The man was declared dead within minutes. Sergeant GreyHawk-Brookes and Deputy Clarke will be fine, as long as an infection doesn't have its way.
I don't feel proud. I don't feel damned. I feel responsible, and I know I would do it again if the choice were this or another deputies burial. I hate that I now know that. I hate that he made it a question I had to answer.
The badge is heavy tonight. But it is still mine to carry.
13 June 1912
AGE: 23

Dear Diary,
I made it. I'm barely a day into the job, and I've seen more chaos and lawlessness in this short time than London could muster in a year. The romantic notions and dreamy letters of life in the west have shrivelled quickly between the gun smoke and broken glass. It's not all quite how I'd imagined it. The first night was gruelling. I had barely finished loading my rifle when the first call went off; a store robbery at dawn in Strawberry, then another in Armadillo. A bank vault was blown open at some point, but between the brawl in town and a train robbery, it all blurs into one.
We ride until dark, I feel aches in places I didn't know I could ache. The smoke and gunpowder have woven themselves into my coat. And to top it all off, my horse can barely keep up with the others. I feel like we're in the same boat - not quite ready, but not running away from it. I've cried through a few nights in the stables, nestled between horses who don't care about my pride. I sat in the hay and I sobbed, hands trembling, and wondering if I'd made a terrible mistake. The life of endless dictation, letters, filing, indexing, contracts and quiet ink doesn't feel so dull on days when I feel like a child in a world too large for me - days when I'm half a second too slow, the dust stinging at my eyes with those around me riding faster and shooting cleaner than I ever could.
This week’s been a hard one. I’m sore everywhere, sleeping light, riding harder than I thought I could. Everything's loud. Sharp. And I'm trying so, so hard to keep up, to keep steady. I will shake and falter, but I won't waver. Not when I've come this far.
5 June 1912
AGE: 23


Dear Diary,
I am writing by lamplight with ash and dirt under my fingernails, and the dull ache of exertion across my shoulders, but tonight I can say that I feel more rooted than I have in years.
Sutton and Harold have been nothing but kind. We arrived in Blackwater three days ago after a brief stop in Strawberry. A beautiful town nestled into the cliffs, wooden bridges cutting across a gentle stream from a small waterfall, but the the atmosphere there was tense. I imagined something quaint and peaceful, but it was nothing of the sort. The streets were quiet by day and loud at night. Shouting and gunshots rang through the air just after dark, though it seemed a common occurrence in town. I was warned not to wander alone.
The law there felt thin, often just passing through. The outlaws wearing yellow seemed to run this town. Though they were nice enough to us, setting us up with equipment and a hotel room, it felt wrong. People being dragged out of town bloodied and beaten, and no one stopped it. Just a quiet group of observers. It made me cold.
Things sounded safer in Blackwater, more secure. The law has presence here, and feels llike it has purpose. The sheriff's office stands like it belongs. We registered our interest in joining the western sheriff's department. To my surprise and delight, there were women on the roster already. While we wait for word, we've thrown ourselves into any work that's available. Chopping wood, and we've recently taken to mining. I had to laugh at the absurdity of it. Me, with my pressed skirts and upbringing, dragging a pickaxe across a rocky ledge in the hopes the Earth would reward us. I returned to town covered in dust, sunburned across the nose, but oddly pleased with myself.
There's something in this land. Brutal, but full of possibility. Through the dust and danger, I feel more like myself here than I ever did in England. I don't know where I'm going from here, what kind of lawwoman I'll become (if they'll even have me,) but I know I was right to come.
I wonder if Thomas would laugh or salute if he could see me now. I miss him. But tonight, I feel strong. And tired. And ready for anything.
24 May 1912
AGE: 23
Dear Diary,
I haven't seen this book in years. Mum found it tucked behind years of memories and gave it to me on the dock, 'for the journey and whatever comes next. Embrace the big feelings.' I nearly broke down on the spot. I held it in behind a smile and hugged her tighter than I think I ever have. Mum cried quietly as I boarded. Not loud and showy - just damp eyes and trembling lips as she smoothed my coat like I was seven and just going to school again. She didn't ask me to stay. I think she understood. Dad didn't say much. He hugged me stiffly and muttered something about 'making good of it.' It's more than I expected from him, so I'll take it.
I'm sitting on the deck now, the sea stretching forever in every direction. It's blue and grey and endless, humming with promise and memories. I never liked the ocean. I used to dream of waves reaching up to grab me, dragging me below the surface. Even now, when the ship groans or tilts too far my chest tightens and I hold my breath. I keep my cabin door unlatched, just in case. It's silly, but it's there, and it makes me feel a bit safer. I didn't expect it to shake me as much as it has, and yet I'm here, crossing the ocean. Willingly.
We should be docking in Annesberg within the next week. I'm full of emotions. Fear, yes, but something else burning like fire below that. Perhaps it's hope. I don't know what waits for me in the west, but I know I couldn't last in the life I was given. I want to work and help and feel like what I'm doing matters - to be proud and tired for the right reasons.
I'm ready, I think. Talk Write soon.
2 Desimber 1899
AGE: 10
Dear Diary,
Mum and dad say Thomas isn't coming home. They said his ship got caught in a storm and the sea took it. I don't understand how he could be gone like that. He's strong, and taller than anyone I know. He can swim better than anyone too. I think he swam to an island, or got lost and he'll find his way back.
Mum didn't talk much today. She sat in her chair staring at the floor. I tried to hold her hand, but she didn't hold back. She always holds back. Dad looked like he wanted to shout, but didn't. He put his hat on the table and sat with his head down. He didn't eat any supper. Neither did mum. I had some bread but I couldn't taste it.
Thomas' coat is still by the door. I sat by it for a while. It still smells like him. I keep thinking he'll knock on the door and steal the last piece of bread for me while mother looked away. He callsed me pigeon because I walked funny, and thought it was funny to give me bread. It was.
I think I hate the sea now. I think everyone does, but no one says it out loud. I used to love trips to Broadstairs in the summer, but I don't think I'll ever like the sea again. I don't know what to do to make things better. I tried not to cry, but I did a little. Only a little.
I miss Thomas. •︵•
19 Oktober 1899
AGE: 8
Dear Dairy,
I finished my reading before everyone else today and Miss Browne told me to sit on my hands and wait patiently. I don't like sitting on my hands, it feels silly. I wish I could read a harder book. I told Dad I finished before everyone else and he was proud of me.
Mum let me help with her sewing but I poked myself and it bled a bit. Mum kissed it better and gave me a biscuit and I didn't cry. Mum's kiss did that, she is magic. I tried sewing a straight line like mum does but it looked like a worm. It wasn't good, but it mine.
Thomas came home today and gave me a rock he said pirates stood on to find treasure, which means it's lucky. He said it will bring me good fortune, like the pirates. I don't think that's true, but I like it anyway. We also had cinnamon toast tonight and it was so good I ate every crumb off my plate.
6 Juli 1899
AGE: 8

dery off: effie
Mum gave me this book today because Thomas made me angry because he said my drawing of a horse looked like a potato but it did not, it had legs and a tail and hoofs so I threw my pencil at him and it broke so I cried. Mum said its okay to have big emotions and that sometimes our hearts get too full and spills out but writing can catch the spill so it doesn't make a mess, so I'm going to do that because I still love my brother. I'm still mad but not as much.
I think I'm going to redraw the horse for mum but with two tails because its magic and magic horses don't care what Thomas thinks.
© Shakespeare, "As You Like It"
CW: Sensitive topics incl. Domestic Abuse, Sexual Exploitation, Suicide & Torture.




LEGAL NAME Andromeda Cassidy
✦ monikers & title(s). Andy (universal), Mrs. (title), Victoria Hewitt (Legal), Elizabeth Watkins (fake identity).AGE Nineteen.
✦ date of birth August 5ᵀᴴ, 1893.
✦ birth chart Leo ☼, Tau ☾, Scorpio ↥
✦ birthplace St Ives, England.GENDER. female, she/her.
sexuality. heterosexual.APPEARENCE. ✧
✦ eyes. dark brown.
✦ hair. black, curled.
✦ build. 5ft 7, heavy set.
✦ modifications. various light/small scars from gunfights & animal attacks. distinctly scarred forehead.
" i need a father, i need
a mother, "
001 : BACKSTORY. Born in 1893, Victoria was born to Elizabeth and Andrew Smith. Her father, a dock carter, had a laugh that warmed the house and a habit for bringing home treasures and knickknacks. Her mother stayed at home, taking care of Victoria and her older sister. She was only three when the coughing started, the kind that rattled the window panes. Her father faded quickly, starting in early spring, by mid-summer he was gone. Her mother didn't fall into grief all at once. She leaned, then slid. The rent man knocked harder, and her mother lost more of herself. First was the formal dresses, then the winter coat, then the wedding band. Eventually her mother found a job - of sorts. She had no skills beyond house keeping, but from the bottom of a bottle she wasn't very good at that either. The front door open and closed all hours of the night, the guest room off-limits until she turned 14. She was trafficked by her mother, alongside her older sister, who killed herself at the age of 17. Victoria understood that her mother spoke for them both, and she had perfected faking a smile and shutting herself down, her subservient nature and age making her a hot ticket item.
Victoria was 17 when she met George Hewitt. A foreman with soot in his knuckles and a voice that commanded, a customer became a shortcut out of debt - a ring for Victoria's hand, made of brass pretending to be gold, for 'stability'. Elizabeth agreed. Victoria said nothing. George liked that, and took her silence for consent and revelled in her submission. He'd often remind her she was lucky. He would drink and list the ways she owed him, and she paid in the only way she knew. 'Girl' and 'property' became her pet names, though on the softer nights it would be 'wife' and 'darling.' Bruises bloomed yellow and purple, though her mother either didn't notice or didn't care. She folded small and learned to live between his moods. In the spring of 1911, Ms. Smith became Mrs. Hewitt. "For better, for worse, in sickness and in health." The old finality, 'till death do us part,' left out - the silence where it should've been felt like a held breath.
" i need some older, wiser being to cry to, "
002 : ARDET NEC CONSUMITUR. Newly wed, Victoria noticed George's edges becoming softer. Flowers on Tuesdays, remorseful lips on Sundays, a hand that shook after it struck. He learned to say 'I'm sorry', to hold her while she cried for the bruise he'd given, and Victoria, bone-tired and perhaps naïve, almost believed the softness was change. She convinced herself he was just a good man who lost his temper, that the apologies meant he knew better; she didn't blame him as much as the pressures of life, the gin, the weather. She stayed quiet until she couldn't any longer. Rain hammered on the windowpanes like impatient knuckles. George returned home late and loud, reeking of alcohol, his coat drenched in the smell of another woman. It wasn't the cheating that cut her - it was his flippant attitude towards it, lazy as flicking ash, treating her like a piece of furniture he'd just scuffed. He laughed when she told him to leave. When she stepped between him and the spare room, where her fathers' belongings were stored, he backhanded her hard enough to stain the floorboards with a little of her blood, sending her to the floor. She oriented herself while George came at her again with a grin, snarling that she'd be forgiven once she learned her lesson. Victoria's hand reached and found a firepoker. She swung around on the floor, using the momentum to swing the poker at him. Iron met bone with a sick thud. He staggered, grabbing her by the top of the head, hair wrapped around his fingers. He fumbled around for his pocket knife, using it to cut into her scalp, pulling her hair back as he went. With the last of her strength, she swung upward, the iron cracking against his skull. His grip went limp, the knife hitting the ground with a thud, his arms tremoring. She pulled away quickly, blood obscuring her vision from her own scalp. She looked at George as he fell to his knees, their eyes meeting as he slumped to her level, drooling and mumbling. The left side of his skull had been caved in, blood gathering at his temple and dripping onto the rug.
She rushed to her feet, the poker slipping from her grip and clanging against the wooden floors. In her scramble, her arm caught the oil lamp on the table. It toppled to the floor, kissed the rug, and bloomed into a raging orange flame. Flames ran the frayed edges of the carpet, licking up at the curtains, spewing smoke into the room. Heat pressed close, pushing Victoria back, throat coated with soot. The house woke to its own undoing, the pop of resin in the wood and the brittle sigh of glass crying out. The realisation came clean and fast - if the house burned, the town would mourn a young, lost couple, taken too soon by an accidental housefire. An accident... She moved without thinking, feeding the hallway rug into the blaze, scattering old and unread letters over the growing heat. She listened to George's wet murmurs under the crackle, his body fully crumpled to the ground, the back of his coat being licked by the flames. Victoria soaked her scarf at the washbasin, placing it over her nose and mouth. She left her ring by George's side, leaving a kiss on his cheek, a lock of her hair in his hands. She latched the windows, gathered coin and her fathers' keepsake box, and closed the front door soft behind her. By the time the first shouts of 'FIRE, FIRE!' rose, she was already a shadow among many, and she didn't look back.
In a quiet yard two streets over she set about her head wound. She trimmed her blood-matted hair away with her penknife, heated a can of water over a fire until it sputtered, let it cool and cleaned the wound. She poured whiskey from her flask over her scalp, hissing and swearing through the pain, enduring it quietly. She pressed a folded scrap of petticoat linen to staunch the bleeding, and bound it like a bandana. She remembered what her mother taught her - watch for fever or red streaks racing the skin, keep the cloth dry and change it every day. From there she moved fast, beelining to the dock where she booked passage under the name A. Cassidy. At night, she stood at the rail and watched the Atlantic, and tried to imagine a horizon with no England on the far side.
When the clerk in the frontier asked her name, she offered "Andromeda Cassidy" with a steady voice. The name didn't come from nowhere. She read about an art piece in a pamphlet somewhere between the stop in Liverpool and St. Denis. The woman in the painting was described as pale and bound, a figure of myth chained to rock, waiting for either deliverance or devouring. But she hadn’t been painted as only a victim, there was defiance in her gaze, a quiet majesty. The description lodged in her like a feeling she’d always had but never named. Cassidy was a name she and George once whispered for a child that never came. That was one of few things they agreed on. She carried it with her anyway. Her new life felt like both a map and a mask, a lie lifted from a page halfway across the ocean that let her be at once wounded and unbowed. She learned to ride a horse in a yard where the horses were mean and the people meaner. Andy fell off a dozen times without shedding a tear. By the time she could stay in the saddle, her hands had blistered into callus.

003 : THE SAINTS. As she settled and found herself in St. Denis, she found herself in the company of a group called The Saints, and was welcomed as one of them. They became her family. To be continued.
" i talk to god but the sky is empty."
© S. PLATH, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
wip i hated how i made this look lol.